Just friends
by mika-niiet
Summary: This is about Uruha having an unrequited love for Ruki. The guitarist and vocalist of The Gazette.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Just friends**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Uruha x Ruki, one sided**  
Rating:** G**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** 1/3**  
Warning: **none**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the members of Gazette. Though this plot is mine.**  
Summary:** The small man shivered, as to make his point.**  
Comments:** This is actually something that happened to me. And I kind of just twisted it around a little, and this came out then. Please comment, thanks.

Uruha's POV

He clenched my two fingers. I rubbed my thumb and index finger over his hand. Stroking his soft skin. Gentle. As if it would break if not.

Watching the movie. Sitting close. But me feeling for him what he would never feel for me. My knowledge hurt me.

"Mah, it's kinda cold here, y'know. Scoot closer."

Looking at him. The small man shivered, as to make his point. Since I wouldn't move, the red haired man grabbed my arm. Pulling me closer to his small body. I hugged him. Squeezed him as hard as I dared to. My slender arms reached all around him. A heavy sigh. But just so he didn't hear anything. Was this a sign that he perhaps felt what I felt?

"Dude, I knew you would be warm. Just like a blanket." Ruki snickered a little. "Being friends with you has it benefits sometimes, haha." He laughed his small, cute laugh.

Friends. Such a nice sound, what a heavy word. It suffocates me. Cause I know my feelings have nowhere to go. But at least I'll suffer with him. Being apart would hurt more than the word "friends" do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Just friends**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Uruha x Ruki, one sided**  
Rating:** G**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** 2/3**  
Warning: **Cursing**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the members of Gazette. Though this plot is mine.**  
Summary:** Where I kept messing everything up too many times.**  
****Comments: **OMG! I actually did it. And I kept telling myself, I won't I won't. But I did it anyway. Lol, I hope it doesn't suck. Just another little drabble. I hope I don't make another one. I feel like I am destroying it (cries). It was supposed to end with the first. But I had to go and make this cause Uruha was begging me to (shifty eyes)… Okay, comments please!!

Uruha's POV

And it's this feeling of emptiness that hurts the most. Feelings of want and need that consumes me when, even just one day passes by without me seeing him.

My mind is lost whenever you're in the room. Skipping beats even while it's racing like crazy, my heart is. I can't seem to concentrate.

This is what you do to me. I keep convincing myself, that I'd rather feel like this, than never see you again. Because it's pretty obvious, you don't see my feelings. And it's pretty obvious, that you'll never have such thoughts in that pretty head of yours.

It just hurts, you know. I want to tell you. And I almost did.

It was at this one band practice. Where I kept messing everything up too many times. I could feel how everyone tried to swallow their anger at me. Frustration and annoyance. Trying my best to fix it, but it wasn't fixable. Until Kai finally snapped at me. And that comment just pierced my heart, and settled there, in my shattering and rather painful heart. Tears pressed on and I dashed out the door. After roughly taking off my guitar and dump it on the floor.

Huddled next to the vending machine outside the building. I had lit a cigarette right before you turned the corner and stood in front of me. Not lifting my gaze from the ground. Just taking slow drags, and slowly breathing out the dangerous air. Eyes crushed shut to stop the tears. Getting back the control of my own body. Begging my mind for control.

You crouched down to my level. And started to question me. What was wrong and why I stormed out like that, the expected. I shrugged.

"Nothing's wrong, just feeling a little.. sick, is all."

Giving one of my better smiles I could ever manage at a time like that. Your eyes still searching for something. Those magnificent dark orbs of yours. Searching.

When my eyes met your narrowed ones. Our gaze locking for seconds, and more like minutes to me, I felt like spilling everything. Swallowing the lump inside my throat. I broke the eye contact and took yet another drag from my cancer stick.

You gave up as not one more word came from me. You sighed, got up and turned around, before you stopped.

"You know, we're best friends, you can tell me anything. Since we're friends, I'll always care about you".

Turning around to show me one of your brilliant smiles.

"Hai!"

One word I simply or not so simply, pressed past my lips, in a casual voice, I surprisingly was able to manage.

Your sparkling smile. Shining eyes. With a voice that can scream in so many different tones I don't even know about. With a small body, but a heart bigger than what anyone can imagine. You're smart and too kind than what some deserve. You are the colours in my life. Bittersweet pain on the tip of my tongue. The shards of glass that pierce my heart and plunge me into darkness, where all I know is the love I hold for you.

Everything is all just a chaotic mess inside of me. And I swear. With all I got. I'll never let it out. Ever. And my heart may break into a million pieces that can never be put together. But even if it happens. I won't tell you. Not even think about telling you. To break this spell you have enchanted me with, it will never be worth it.

This love from since I can't remember.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Just friends**  
Author:** Mika Kashii Haine**  
Band:** The Gazette**  
Pairing:** Uruha x Ruki**  
Rating:** G**  
Genre:** Angst  
**Chapters:** 3/3**  
Warning: **Cursing, un beta-ed**  
Disclaimer:** I DON'T OWN ANYONE!**  
Summary:** Staring like an idiot on the crack underneath this door where I just now slipped the letter of my darkest secret under.**  
Comments: **HAH! You didn't see this one coming (laughs). Okay, don't hate me. I really did my best with this ending! But it's done now. And don't ask for a sequel, cause I won't write one! Comments are love

Uruha's POV

I don't know why I can imagine the ending before I even try to start something. But all those wrong turns something like a confession can take. It all seems so painful. Something I can't take.

In the end. I made promises to myself. To the you in my head. That I won't do that. Not take chances as this coward I am.

Still it runs so deep. Someone inside me is pushing my back. Making my hand grab the pen. Making it scribble pieces of broken sentences on the fail white surface.

Without much more thought. I stand outside of your door. Staring like an idiot on the crack underneath this door where I just now slipped the letter of my darkest secret under.

Before I can turn around to leave in my hurry. The door swings open. My eyes widen at you fully dressed to go outside, holding my crumbled, tear stained letter. In your beautiful hands. You hold onto it like delicate porcelain.

Dumbly I spit out the words. Those words I've already written down to you. For your eyes only to read. For you ears only to hear.

"I love you, Ruki! I know I can't, I know it's wrong. Don't hate me, please! Don't stop being my friend!"

The words may make more sense than the written ones, but the meaning of them is still the same. So now with the words out in the open. Tears press their way in my swollen eyes. I don't want you to see this fragile side of me. This stupid lovesick me. Don't look! Close your eyes and forget!

Your open mouth. Surprised eyes. And how your hand now clenches the letter. Crumbling it in your fist. Was enough to tell me to run. Run fast, run far. So I did as you told me in silence. Picked myself up and stretched my long legs as I ran for the stairs. For the way outside.

Down on the street I slow down. Happy that the darkness of evening provide few people here. No one could witness my cowardly tears.

A crossroad ahead of me. No cars in sight so I step out. My breath already having slowed down.

"URUHA!!"

Your voice cut through the night. Making me stop in the middle of the road. I turn my head to see you running towards me. Even from this distance, I see the pained expression etched on your features. Slowing down as you see me standing still. Waiting.

And I wonder, should I run or stay? This I can not run from... There's no place for me to go to, where he can't find me...

Normal POV

From Ruki's angle. He could not see the speeding car coming towards the crossroad. With his heart beating in his ears, he could not hear the sound of and engine. With his eyes fixed on the man of his desires. He did not see that car speeding. With his mind set on this situation he had caused. He did neither hear that hum of his death song. No, they did not see the car. Did not hear its engine growling. Didn't expect the next thing to happen.

Paralyzed with each other. The car which was not able to slow down and break in time. Slammed forcefully into the tall, slender man. As he flew skywards. This car rushed away in horror of its mistakes. As his hip met the car, he heard his own bones snap. Air in his lungs sucked out. It knocked out his last breath. Everything, creating a melody, his Death's tune.

For him, it all went slowly. Painfully slow. As he was tossed and turned, for some brief seconds faced with the sky, he thought...

"What a beautiful night to die on..."

Ruki's POV

My eyes snapped open. My breath caught in my suddenly dry throat. As nothing would proceed in my mind. Without much thought. My body moved on its own accord. When I saw your beautiful body hit the filthy ground.

Dropped on my knees. Not bothering with the stinging pain I caused by the sudden abuse. Screaming for help. Someone to call an ambulance. Anyone had to help. Someone had to be here.

So much blood is seeping from your head. Creating a puddle. I scream some more. Your leg is twisted by the knee. Your other bent back by the thigh. Shrilling screams makes people fearfully run out of their peace filled houses. Unnaturally your body is bent. The way you're not breathing.

"CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE!!!"

Everything is signs telling me that no ambulance can save you. No doctor is needed. How your body grows cold all too fast. Makes my tears pour down in grief. Bitter pain shoots through me.

I know you're gone. I know my screams are futile. I know hope is gone. But I still hope. I keep screaming for that ambulance. Cause I'm not ready for this. Not ready for you to be gone. When nothing ever started.

Gently I cradle your broken head in my arms. And I cry some more. Shout some more. You're so cold, so cold. Your life has ended. Your soul has left. But I keep embracing the you in my memories. This man. Uruha, the guitarist of the GazettE. Kouyou Takashima, the man I will always love.

Someplace long forgotten I read that cold people are cowards. And they need a warm one to keep them warm. To keep them alive. Here you are now. Finally in my arms. In the most unthinkable situation. Not how I wanted it to be. You lie here eternally asleep. Cold like winter snow. Why was I not able to warm you?


End file.
